Unexpected
by Durps
Summary: We all know how hard it is to get back an ex. Especially if that ex happens to be a hot tempered red head who wants to do nothing but kill you. Desperate times calls for desperate measures... so Ahri took on some friendly advice. [Ahri,Katarina]


If anyone was awake at this time of the night, they would have seen the slim figure of none other than Katarina Du Couteau the Sinister Blade who was standing by a pond staring at her own reflection. She absentmindedly traced the scar across her eyes. Katarina shuddered as she felt the coolness of the wind brush against her cheeks. She didn't know why she couldn't sleep today but the moment she saw the moon she felt something pull her towards it. So she decided to go for a late night walk.

The low vibrations of footsteps alerted her. Katarina tensed and hurried to hide behind a heard faint voices in the distance but she couldn't really make out what the conversation was about. The weird shadows of two people appeared and Katarina quickly identified one of them as being Ahri's. Yes, Ahri... the nine tailed fox.

"Well, tonight has been amazing." A voice said shyly and Katarina recognised it as Garen's. He was standing with his back towards her and she could see that he was fumbling with his fingers out of nervousness. Ahri gave him a small polite indifferent nod.

For some unexplained reason, perhaps it was fate... Ahri's golden glaze fell towards the exact bush (that was indeed too small for her) that Katarina was in. Their eyes met for a split second before Katarina broke the contact as she prepared her escape.

Ahri's tails curled as she let out a small mischievous giggle.

"Oh Garen! Tonight has been absolutely wonderful. I'm sure I'll be seeing you more often." She lent in to embrace him. Ahri and Katarina's eyes met for another while before Katarina disappeared into the darkness of the night.

Ahri, immediately after Katarina's departure, broke the embrace and walked away without a single word , leaving Garen scratching his head in confusion. Women... must be that time of the month again...

* * *

"Good Morning, Katarina." Ahri winked.

_Stupid. ._

_Why did I even go for the stupid goddam walk?_

Katarina gave her the usual response," Address me by my title, Ionian."

"So, how much did you see last night Katarina?" Ahri asked innocently, completely ignoring what Katarina just said.

_God dammit, Katarina, why did you do this to yourself?_

"I don't know what you are talking about, Ionian." Katarina replied coolly.

"Oh, I'm sure you know." Ahri smiled sweetly, her tails edging closer to Katarina.

Katarina stepped backwards, only to hit the wall of the narrow corridors. She instinctively grabbed a blade that was strapped to her waist. She didn't trust Ahri.

"Shouldn't you be a little more afraid?" Katarina said smugly. After years of practice, she became an expert at looking daring in any situation.

"Of what exactly?"

"Of getting one _these_..." Katarina paused to gesture one of her blades, "Stuck deep into you."

"Well, I don't know about a blade... but we both know that this wouldn't be the first time you stick things in me... if you know what I mean." Ahri grinned, knowing fully well what she was getting herself into.

"Get off me." Katarina's years of practice to maintain a gracious demeanor crumbled within a few seconds before Ahri. Her face heated up rapidly. Embarrassed , she tried to shove Ahri away but Ahri pounced back in right afterwards.

"You wouldn't hurt me. You know you couldn't do it." Ahri spoke quietly.

Katarina appeared behind Ahri, resting the edge of her blade against her throat.

"If I could kill a whore like you right now, I wouldn't fucking hesitate."

"Still mad?" Ahri chuckled. She readied herself for an escape from Katarina's lashes but instead the Noxian grew silent and loosened her grip , catching the fox by surprised.

"If you were me...wouldn't you be?"

Ahri was speechless.

"If I could kill you right now... I would."

Katarina tightened her grip on Ahri's throat. She felt Ahri squirming beneath her grasp. Then Ahri suddenly stopped.

"After all we've been through? It was-"

"A lie. You know that better than anyone." Katarina said bitterly, unconsciously pushing her blade a little harder against Ahri's throat.

Ahri's ears drooped downwards and her usual playful expression disappeared. They've been ignoring each other for who knows how long. If anything, Ahri hates being ignored.

To provoke a response, Katarina edged the blade in even further. Ahri felt Katarina's toned arm brush accidentally against her neck. Surprised, Katarina jerked her hand away. Seeing how Katarina responded to that, an idea clicked in Ahri's head.

One of Ahri's tails moved to caress one of Katarina's inner thighs and Katarina gasped in surprise. Ahri took this opportunity to break free from her grasp.

"I see you haven't changed. You still like that, don't you?" Ahri laughed and started to sprint away.

"You... bitch! Get back here!" Katarina grabbed Ahri by one of her tails and forcefully slammed her against the wall. Then she jerked backed, realizing that she just made a huge mistake. Starting the chain of dominoes, the first tapestry fell and knocking off a painting... then another...and another ... until finally, the statue of Jarvan III came collapsing over both Katarina and Ahri , trapping them both underneath.

"Well isn't this..." Ahri paused and giggled playfully before letting out a hot breath of air into Katarina's right ear.

"... Comfortable?"

"No. Go fuck yourself."

"Oh I'd love too, but sadly , both of my hands are caught beneath this statue. But your left hand is free isn't it?" Ahri snickered. "You'd be **_doing_** me ...a favour."

Katarina ignored her and proceeded to remaining unresponsive.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? I do hope Kitty Kat's gonna get _my_ tongue." Ahri laughed at her own joke. The puns are unreal.

"Hey..."

Katarina remained silent.

"I said hey..."

Katarina ignored her.

"Hey! Stop ignoring me!" Ahri whined. Seeing that it did no good, Ahri inched closer to Katarina, just enough to nibble her ear.

At this, Ahri could see Katarina's ear slowly turn as red as her hair.

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME ! BITCH THE FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING WHORE. STOP TALKING TO ME, STOP TOUCHING ME AND GET THE FUCK AWAY."

* * *

"Aaaand that's why I punched her." Katarina finished her story.

The jury nodded understandingly.

"I didn't do anything wrong..." Ahri mumbled.

"No you didn't." The jury nodded again.

"What?! That's sexual harassment right there!" Katarina insisted.

"I believe you dear, but that isn't something we can prove. The bruise on Ahri's cheeks however..."

Katarina groaned, " Someone get me a fucking lawyer."

The institute of war had its own court for disputes between its champion and due to the fact that it was so exclusive, the court tended to be less formal with no lawyers... with six or more bodyguards to defend the jury. Any use of magic or any form of violence that occurs within the institute outside of the fields of justice would be detected by a radar and the champions would be summoned, handcuffed and all, to the waiting office outside the court.

"Where are all the security cameras when you need them!"

"Well... one of the paintings knocked the camera down into a pool of chocolate fondue." The jury said and Katarina groaned once more.

"This isn't happening..." Katarina mentally face-palmed herself.

"Well, Ms. Du Couteau, it indeed did happen. All the paintings were all expensive royal arts from all over Runeterra, you both destroyed many historical artifacts... I'm afraid you both would be sentenced to some sort of punishment to pay for our damages..."

"How much?" Katarina asked.

"Oh you wouldn't-"

Katarina interrupted the jury," How much?!"

The jury said quietly," 1 million RP"

There was a moment of silence in the room.

"Are you shitting me?!" Katarina exclaimed. "That's absurd!"

"That is why I suggest that you work to pay for the damages that you've done."

"_I_ have to work because _I_ got sexually harassed? You've got to be fucking shitting me." This was unbelievable. Her eyebrows furrowed.

" Aww come on, Kat... stop being such a baby, it shouldn't be that bad! " Ahri grinned.

"When I said you will have to work, I meant the both of you."

Ahri's jaw dropped in disbelief. "Excuse me, I don't think I heard you right, I heard that-"

"You heard me right alright. The case is closed. Katarina, you will be assigned errands and jobs from now on. Ahri will join you afterwards... after she has been treated by Soraka."

With that, the Jury and his body guards scurried away to avoid Katarina's predictable volcano of an outburst.

"THIS IS FUCKING VALORAN'S VAGINAS! "

* * *

"Katarina..."

"Address me correctly, Ionian."

"Kat..."

"Let me rephrase, what I actually was meant to say was: shut the fuck up."

"I don't know how to do that..."

"Obviously you don't, otherwise I wouldn't be having this headache from all your babbling"

"Katarina, I meant this." Ahri gestured the unwashed dishes.

"Are you joking...you don't know how to wash dishes?"

Ahri looked at her sheepishly "I've always had somebody else do it for me..."

Katarina went over to Ahri and handed her share of the plates. "Well, start learning princess because I'm sure as fuck not cleaning yours for you."

* * *

Up in the Noxian wings, Cassiopeia and Talon sat near the hearth both with their hands on their chins, thinking hard. Cassiopeia was rolling on the floor laughing two weeks ago when she heard that about the incident with Ahri .Talon tried his best comfort Katarina.

Both champions were concerned about Katarina's well-being, knowing all too well where that temper of hers could get her.

"Do you think Sis is going to be alright?" Cassiopeia asked.

"I honestly think she'll survive."

"But she's with Ahri though.."

Talon grimaced. He didn't know much about Ahri apart from the fact that she and Kat used to have a thing, this lack of information troubled the assassin from the beginning and bothered him even to this day. He asked Katarina once but at that point the sinister blade was so deeply infatuated with Ahri that all she gave him were descriptions of how attractive the girl was. Talon had faced Ahri many times before in the Fields of Justice but he honestly never found it to be difficult. Ahri was a high mobility champion but like all mages, they can be easily shut down with silences. And the occasional times that her charm does hit him, it only lasts for a few seconds.

"What are you thinking about ,Talon?"

"Cass, what happened between Ahri and Kat?"

"Didn't she tell you?"

"No?"

"Didn't think she would."

"Oh."

With that, Cassiopeia slithered away leaving Talon with a perplexed expression on his face.

* * *

"Ugh... Here, you do it like this." Katarina squirted a handful of Singed's Washing Magic on to the dishes and used Ahri's hand to scrub the dishes.

"I'm so glad I broke up with you. I pity your next plaything." Katarina mumbled under her breath.

" Who was it that was crying for three days straight?" Ahri retorted back playfully.

"Me. Who was obviously under your stupid charm spell. Would I even like you otherwise?"

Unable to respond, Ahri went quiet and felt her heart break a little. That's the problem with having charm magic and being pretty. People like you for everything but who you really are.

But honestly? Ahri couldn't care less. She gets what she wants and that's it. She's no saint.

Her eyes glowed pink.

...

...

...

The golden morning rays of sunshine caressed the edges of Katarina's hair. She felt cold so she reached out for more of the blanket.

"Ow, don't yank it so hard."

"HOLY SHIT. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?!"

Ahri emerged from under the blanket and gave a small yawn.

"It's my room so I don't think it'd be wrong if I'm here."

Katarina stared, mouth wide open at the half-dressed Ahri. She grabbed the edge of Ahri's shirt firmly and pinned the fox down on to the bed with one swift motion.

"Oh my, round two already? Somebody's impatient the morning." Ahri gave a sultry laugh before reaching out in an attempt to caress Katarina's face.

Katarina's assassin reflexes did not fail her. She grasped Ahri's wrist in mid air and tightened her grip.

"Kat... it hurts..."

"What the hell happened?"

"It really hurts..."

"Answer the goddam question."

"We're both naked, think for yourself!"

"Fuck!" Katarina gave an exasperated groan.

"That's exactly what we did."

"Will you shut the fucking hell up?"

"What's wrong? Why are you mad ,Kat?"

Katarina's face morphed into an expression filled with disbelief. "You fucking charmed me into sleeping with you and you ask me what's wrong?!"

Ahri shrugged. "I must've missed out a step to have gotten you this mad."

"What?!"

"I've been following this article "How to Get Back Your Ex" in a magazine."

" You missed out the Dinner date step."

"OHH RIGHT. Sorry." Ahri grinned sheepishly.

"God, advice from magazines never work you dumb bitch. Who knows, the writer might just be an asshole who just got dumped and has got nothing better to do with their sorry ass other than write the article."

"But this person sounded like an expert..."

"Holy hell. Alright, okay? I wrote that stupid little shit so don't even bother following it. "

"Oh, I knew you wrote it alright."

"Huh?"

"I'm the editor for the magazine."

* * *

**A/N I've always thought that these two go well together. They both have got this edge of sexiness to them. I've always imagined them to know eachother because Ahri would probably find Katarina's personality interesting and likewise. Katarina's seems to be the type to be careful (being an assassin and all) so there aren't that many people out there that can take her by surprise. But Ahri's a fox... **

**This is a one-shot :D... for now. **


End file.
